


The Greatest Story Never Told

by queeninthenorth (misshiss)



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: College, Growing Up, M/M, Married Life, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:43:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misshiss/pseuds/queeninthenorth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dustin has always been in love with Chris, but he never finds the right time to tell his best friend about it. Eventually he loses Chris, loses him to the fight between Markwardo, time... and another man. With Chris' impending divorce Dustin must choose between being a good friend or being happy.</p><p>Or: The one where Chris is insanely popular with the lads and can't make up his mind about whom to keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Collision

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roaroftheninth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roaroftheninth/gifts).



> All of the characters in this fic are based on the fictional characters from the movie. No profit is made with this story and no copyright infringement intended.
> 
> I wrote this story for roaroftheninth ages ago. Time to share it with the rest of y'all. :D

"My name's Moskovitz. Not Mousekewitz. Seriously, Olson, I'm not a cartoon mouse."

 

Dustin Moskovitz hadn't had any time to meet new people during freshman year, which was why he'd been placed in Kirkland House with a bunch of strangers. It was a little like getting sorted in Hogwarts; the Harvard houses used to have their own distinct personalities, but Dustin didn't think that was still true. Kirkland House was supposed to be for jocks and he was far, far from that. Looking at his new room mate, Billy, he decided that either administration had made a grave mistake or nerds were the new jocks. Still, he was glad to be in Kirkland; over time being in one of the old river houses close to campus (cool) had become important. No one wanted to get sorted into one of the newer ones, which were half a mile away from campus (uncool).

Dustin hadn't made a choice because he was mostly just happy to study at Harvard at all. His new room mates would surely come to like him and they'd all have a great time in the suite. He was already playfully arguing with Billy Olson, the first guy who had arrived after Dustin.

 

"Don't tell the other guys my name is Mousekevitz, okay? I don't want them to get the wrong impression."

 

"No worries, dude. Besides, I won't be here much. I have a  _girlfriend_."

 

"Good for you, man, good for you." Dustin did not have a girlfriend and he wasn't sure he wanted one either. Studying Econ at Harvard was daunting enough without adding any complications to it. Still, sometimes he did wish for some company. It would be nice to share all of his experiences here with somebody else. Maybe he'd get lucky this year and even if he didn't find a girlfriend, he might make new friends.

 

He was still thinking about his chances with girls when the door opened and the most beautiful person Dustin had ever seen entered the room. Had this been a chick flick the violins would have started then, harbingers of an epic romance to shatter the world as Dustin knew it. The new guy's hair was blond and styled with gel so it stuck up in all directions, which attracted Dustin's attention immediately. He wanted to wash it and see if it was silky and fine or thick and rough to the touch. But he had a feeling it was going to be soft. Beaming at the new guy, he held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Dustin. You can call me D-Man."

 

The new guy laughed and set down his bags. "Nice to meet you. I'm Chris."

 

Chris' hand was very small for a guy, but warm and dry. His handshake was firm and his smile sunny and open. He was exactly the sort of person Dustin himself wished he could be. Dustin did try to tone down the crazy that seemed to follow him where ever he went. During freshman year his dorm had become infamous for its parties that were usually ended by campus security. Dustin had not actually gone to any of the parties, but for some reason he ended up getting arrested twice. Chris seemed nice without any crazy.

 

"You're the French lit dude, aren't you?" Billy asked, looking at the letter they'd all received a week before summer break ended; it included their new room mates' names and majors. "Christopher R. Hughes."

 

"Christopher Robin?" Dustin asked hopefully. "I'm gonna die with stars in my eyes if someone really named their kid that."

 

Chris laughed again, a little louder this time and Dustin made a mental note to collect jokes once he knew what sort of thing would elicit this beautiful sound from Christopher Robin. "It's Christopher Ray. Sorry, but you'll have to keep living, D-Man."

 

"I'mma call you Christopher Robin anyway. Chris for short." Dustin grinned at his new room mate, then flipped open his cell phone. "Let's exchange phone numbers while we wait for... what's his name?"

 

"Mark E. Zuckerberg."

 

"Edward," Dustin suggested.

 

"I'll go with Etienne," Chris said.

 

"It's Eliot." Dustin spun around just in time to see their number four vanish into one of the bedrooms. He caught a glimpse of awkward, bony shoulders and blond curls, then Mark Eliot was gone.

 

"Not the social type, huh?" Dustin rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if that was going to become a problem in the future.

 

"Congrats, Chris. He's all yours. I call dibs on Dustin."

 

It was almost time for dinner then so the boys walked down into the dining hall for the very first time. The meal was pleasant enough, but something felt weird about it, Dustin thought. They weren't complete yet and it wasn't just Mark's absence that made him feel that way. It was like their little group still missed a member.

 

 

When they got back from dinner they found a tall guy hanging around in front of their suite. Mark Eliot was leaning against the door frame, looking ready for murder. That was a sad thing, Dustin thought, because Mark Eliot's face was beautiful in a very Asperger kind of way.

 

"No, no, no," the tall guy protested, looking like a kicked puppy. "I did not mean to... look, it's just I'm really sure this has to be Eliot House."

 

"But it's not," Mark said, not exactly helpfully.

 

"But... if it isn't here... where is it?"

 

"Dunno."

 

"I think it's on the other side of campus," Chris interrupted, stepping forward to shake Kicked Puppy's hand. "Please excuse our room mate. He's a little tired from travelling."

 

"I'm not tired. I slept until 3 in the afternoon."

 

Chris gave Mark a look that very clearly said 'shut up or you'll regret it' before turning back to Kicked Puppy and smiling in a way Dustin hadn't seen yet. It was a beautiful smile, but he couldn't help but wonder why Kicked Puppy got that sort of special treatment.

 

"I happen to know where Eliot is. So if you want, I can take you there," Chris offered. "My name's Chris, by the way. Nice to meet you."

 

Kicked Puppy beamed in an almost cartoonish fashion and nodded. "That'd be so nice of you. I'm Eduardo. Eduardo Saverin."

 

They left together and somehow Dustin felt disappointed, especially when Billy Olson repeated that he called dibs on Dustin.

 

Mark Eliot shuffled back to his room like nothing had happened and he hadn't just been very rude to a fellow student. There was no point in trying to get out of his arrangement with Billy unless _he_  wanted to seem rude. Dustin got into the top half of the bunk bed and tried to fall asleep, but he didn't rest easy until he heard the front door click shut and Christopher Robin was back home.

 

 

Over the next couple of days Dustin got to know his room mates a little better. He found out that Billy Olson's girlfriend only existed in his head, that Mark never left his room and Chris was gay and a bit of a slut.

 

It happened on the Saturday after they'd all moved in together. A week at Harvard had been enough to bring Dustin to his knees and he mostly just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately there was too much coke in his bladder and so he had to make a couple of bathroom trips during the night. Mark, who was more of a Snapple fan if the amount of empty bottles was anything to go by, was also going a lot. They even had their own system by now; Mark went first because his glares scared Dustin. Dustin hopped up and down to keep the coke in until it was his turn.

 

That's why he witnessed what he did: The door opened to husky laughter and the sound of lips connecting in heated kisses. Then Christopher Robin landed on the couch, Eduardo Saverin over him, and now Dustin could actually  _see_ the heated kissing in the faint light coming from the kitchen.

 

He didn't like it.

 

"Not in the common room," Chris laughed, his hands wandering over Eduardo's chest. "We have a 'no spunk on the couch cushions' policy."

 

"Oh, I don't think I can wait,  _querido_."

 

Yeah, so maybe this Eduardo guy spoke fancy languages. Big deal. Dustin still didn't see the necessity to bring him back to the suite and have sex with him.

 

"Then take me right here," Chris suggested. "I want you, Eduardo..."

 

"Not on the couch," Mark said flatly and Dustin jumped when he felt Mark's presence behind himself. He'd been too lost in the show on the couch and forgotten all about Mark.

 

"Fuck, sorry. I'm so, SO sorry," Eduardo kept saying as he stumbled to his feet. "Very sorry. The sorriest. I'll just... I'll go."

 

He tucked his shirt back into his pants and practically flew out of the suite. Chris sat up, glaring at them in a way that Dustin felt would become a habit. "Thanks for being the biggest cock blocks in the history of Harvard."

 

Dustin could tell that it was bravado as much as real indignation. Being gay couldn't be easy.

 

"I'm sorry," Dustin said immediately although there was nothing he had to apologize for really. "I just wanted to use the bathroom."

 

"I don't want spunk on the couch," Mark added.

 

"So... us being gay doesn't bother you?"

 

"Should it?"

 

"No, but-"

 

"I'm going to bed."

 

"It doesn't bother me either," Dustin said. "It's cool. If anyone ever gives you hell about it, tell me."

 

"Thanks, D-Man, that's really kind of you. But I can fight my own battles. And right now I need to find Eduardo."

 

It was only when Chris was gone that Dustin realised he felt like crying.


	2. Broken hearts lie all around Chris

"So, he's gonna hang out here like every day?" Billy asked, taking a sip of beer. "I mean, not that he isn't a nice guy, but I thought you guys were over?"

"We never were together," Chris replied, looking up from his book. "So we can't be over."

Dustin just stared at his computer, ignoring both of them. Eduardo had just left, looking even more like a kicked puppy than the first time Dustin had seen him. Chris was not the dating type, it seemed, and Eduardo was only beginning to understand that. Dustin had been happy about the non-dating policy at first, but then a dark cloud of depression had settled over him, making it hard to focus on school work. That's why he'd decided to learn coding from scratch. Mark had been his unwilling, but oddly patient teacher. It seemed like the Ice Queen was slowly warming up to Dustin's charms.

"You forgot something there," he pointed out, leaning over Dustin's shoulder. "If you don't add the same number you entered above, it's not gonna work."

"Thanks."

"Is Wardo gone already?"

"Who's Wardo?"

"Eduardo... Wardo... whatever."

Dustin found it kind of endearing that Mark had a nickname for Eduardo, but decided not to comment. Mark was a bit like a wild cat; one wrong move and he fled.

"He left a couple of minutes ago. Around the time Chris started talking about his latest fling."

Chris sighed. "Do I really have to discuss my love life with all of you?"

"Yeah, since you're the only one who has one. And because we all like gossip." Billy grinned.

"If you're so interested in gay love lives, why don't you help me with my latest project? I need ads for the Gay-Straight Alliance Meeting - preferrably of the online variety."

"Everyone knows about it," Billy replied, stretching all over his chair, clearly too drunk to care about anything. "And I'm lazy."

"Mark? Dustin? How about you guys?" Chris looked so hopeful and pretty and awesome that Dustin kind of didn't want to turn him down, but he was so behind with school work, he just couldn't afford to spend any time on Chris' project.

"What do you need?" Mark asked.

"I don't know... something cool, something that'll make people want to come to the meeting. I'm all out of ideas."

"Offer free blow jobs," Billy suggested. "Everyone likes free oral."

"Let's stay serious here," Dustin interrupted, lips pursed in indignation. "Seriously, Chris is not a whore."

"Are you defending his honour or what?" Billy almost fell out of his chair then. "Everyone knows he sleeps around. No big deal."

Dustin rose to his feet, almost slamming his laptop shut. "Shut the fuck up."

"I have an idea." Of course Mark would ignore the emotional side of the argument and go straight for the coding. "I'll be done tomorrow morning. See you then." With that he retreated to his own room.

"Would you guys stop acting like you're five years old?" Chris snapped at Billy and Dustin. "I enjoy sex, Dustin, and if people don't like it... not my problem."

"No, of course not. You can just go around breaking hearts and the rest of us have to suck it up, right?"

Dustin wasn't even sure where this was coming from. It wasn't like Chris had broken Dustin's heart; Eduardo had been the one to take a blow and yet Dustin was getting really angry about the entire situation. Shoving his keys into his pockets, he stormed out of the suite. Once he was gone, he realised he didn't really have a plan. It was eleven and no one was around, except for the really dedicated kids in the library.  
Dustin was not that dedicated and he hated the library anyway. Returning to the dorms to visit one of his old friends there didn't seem like an option either.

He flipped open his cell phone and called the only person he could think of. "Hey, Eduardo, can I come over?"

And maybe that was when Dustin sealed his fate.

 

"I really thought he liked me." Eduardo wiped his eyes, forcing back his emotions as best he could, but he was out of control and Dustin couldn't do anything about it. "I thought... I just really thought Chris liked me. But... he didn't. And I can understand. I'm nothing special. It's just... I was hoping."

Dustin wasn't sure what to say. There was no comfort he could offer because he didn't exactly feel special himself, but Eduardo's dark brown eyes did something to him that almost hurt. He tentatively reached for Eduardo's hand, squeezing it. "You are special. You're my friend, Wardo."

"It's Eduardo."

"I know. Mark calls you that."

"Oh... Mark."

"You're saying his name like it was a bad thing."

"Not at all." Eduardo took a deep breath. "I like Mark, but... well, you know."

Dustin understood. People like Dustin and Mark were easy to overlook with Chris in the room. "If you ever need my help... you know where to find me."

That night they fell asleep in each other's arms and both of them knew it was the beginning of something that would last a very long time. Maybe a life time.

 

Things changed after that. It was subtle, but always there, just under the surface. Eduardo came to the suite almost every night, but he seemed to have lost interest in Chris. He was much more focused on Mark now and while Dustin welcomed that change, something about it felt a little off until all the pieces came together one night.

"Oh my God, Mark!"

The front of Mark's shirt was bloody and his high cheekbones bruised as he stumbled into the suite. Chris and Dustin jumped up to help him, but Eduardo was already at his side. "Hey, what happened?"

"Someone called Mandy from my art history class a fat ugly pig."

Dustin turned to Chris, raising an eyebrow. It was true that Mandy hadn't exactly been blessed with good looks, but she was a nice kid.

"And you defended her? That was really... chivalrous, Mark." Chris seemed just as surprised as Dustin. Mark wasn't exactly the type of person who went out of his way to help other people.

"She's sad when people call her that. We were supposed to do an assignment together. She can't focus when she's sad."

"And so you beat up the guy who said that?" Eduardo asked, guiding Mark to the couch while Chris went to fetch a towel for Mark's bleeding nose.

"No."

"Then what did you do?"

"Told him his girlfriend's flirting with other guys on MySpace."

"Oh."

Eduardo took the towel from Chris, gently pressing it against Mark's nose. Mark glared at him, but Eduardo didn't stop fussing until Mark was curled up in bed with his laptop. Eduardo sat beside him, watching him and asking him questions about his work every now and then.

Dustin got it then. Eduardo had found what he was really looking for; Mark's looks didn't matter, Mark's personality didn't matter. Mark was what Eduardo wanted and Dustin should've been happy for his room mate, but he wasn't. He couldn't help but wonder why things like that never happened to him. And then realisation hit him and that was the least of his concerns.

Dustin realised he liked boys. He was gay. A homo.

He stared at Chris who was watching Mark and Eduardo interacting in their awkward way and then Dustin ran once again. He ran until he collapsed outside the library, his heart hammering against his ribcage, his eyes wet with tears.

He was gay and he was in love and it would never stop hurting.


	3. Beautiful Loser

If anyone noticed something different about Dustin, they didn't comment on it. It wasn't like he wanted any sympathy or any words of wisdom regarding his coming out of the proverbial closet. Dustin had no problem with being bi-sexual (after some soul-searching he discovered that he still found Britney Spears hotter than ever and so had concluded that he probably didn't care about a person's gender so much as their hotness), but Dustin had a problem with Christopher Robin being a slut.

He'd dated a guy named Errol (which was a name Dustin actually liked) right after his break-up with Eduardo. The thing had lasted for about a week before Chris moved on to Jason (no love for that one) before he settled for Alex. Dustin wasn't fond of Alex, but the guy seemed oblivious to Dustin's feelings. He told Mark his hair cut was cool, Eduardo's shirt was awesome and Billy... well, he sat down with Billy and told him all about real women and how to find them. Dustin was seething, Eduardo flattered, Billy dating and Mark... well, Mark hadn't listened anyway.

Chris seemed to be adoring Alex and Dustin was starting to think that Alex might actually become a regular member of their little gang of misfits.

One evening, a couple of weeks before Christmas break, they had a major argument, though. Dustin was lying on the couch which was probably why they were having the argument with another person in the room.

"And you really think that's all right? Telling a young girl you don't care about her problems because she's bisexual? As the President of the LGTB Club?"

Chris had his hands on his hips and his eyes were basically spraying fire. Dustin was a little scared of him in that moment.

"She just doesn't want to accept she's really lesbian! Until she finally gives in and accepts that, I can't do anything for her!" Alex yelled back.

"Yeah, right, would you have given in and accepted you're really straight if someone had said that to you? I'm so, so disappointed in you right now," Chris replied, obviously fighting for control over himself. "We're all different and we need to support each other, not... not be the gay equivalent to rednecks."

"Is that what you think of me? That I'd hurt her because of her sexuality? No, I would not. But I also won't support her."

"Then perhaps it's best if we end this," Chris replied softly. "Because I can't deal with that, to be honest. This goes against everything I stand for and I... just can't."

Alex left a couple of minutes later and Dustin found it safe to sit up then. "Hey, sorry about that."

Chris jumped -actually jumped- and spun around to Dustin. "You've been here for how long?"

"Long enough. Hey, I'm sorry, man. That was... intense."

To Dustin's surprise, Chris burst into tears, and Dustin realised how much this had to hurt. Choosing between someone he loved and his beliefs couldn't have been easy and while Dustin thought it had been the right thing, he still felt bad for Chris. He quickly jumped over the couch and pulled Chris into a hug. "I'm sorry, Christopher Robin. But he doesn't deserve to be with you if he's really just... a jerk, you know?"

Chris laughed through his tears and pulled back a little so he could look at Dustin. "You know, you always know just what to say to cheer me up. You're awesome, Dustin."

"Vodka and Super Mario?"

"Red wine and Starcraft," Chris corrected him and they both smiled.

There weren't any guys after Alex left and while Dustin secretly rejoiced, he also realised that the thing with Alex had been important to Chris. The rest of the gang didn't comment on it, but the night after it happened even Mark came to join Chris on the couch. He just sat there, looking very uncomfortable, but he stayed and that was what mattered.


	4. Eduardo wearing a hoodie and other matters of great importance

The gang decided to stay at Harvard for Christmas break. Eduardo wasn't welcome at home for some reason, Mark hated the holidays, Chris couldn't afford the trip and Dustin wanted to be where Chris was.

"Are we doing the whole gift thing?" Chris asked. "Because I kind of can't afford it at the moment."

"I already got you something," Eduardo said, grinning. "You're gonna love it."

"It's a Prada shirt," Mark said from his desk.

"Mark, sweetie, you're not supposed to tell people what you're getting them before," Chris said gently. "But a Prada shirt? Wardo, you shouldn't have. I have nothing like that to give you."

"Christmas (or Hanukkah for the rest of us) isn't about getting something back. It's about... Chinese food, candy and watching 'Jaws'," Dustin interrupted.

"Jaws? For Christmas?" Eduardo looked doubtful, but shrugged. "We could watch it on Christmas Eve."

They watched Jaws, ate Chinese and got wasted for Christmas. Dustin thought that it was a really good tradition that they should keep up in the future. Still, he was up before 8 the next morning, making a lot of noise to wake everybody else. Well, Eduardo and Mark who had fallen asleep on the couch together. Chris was already standing at the kitchen window for a morning smoke.

"Wake up, it's Christmas and I wants presents!" Dustin pulled Eduardo's arm, which was loosely wrapped around Mark's hip. Dustin should've been suspicious, but he was too excited. He'd finally find out what Chris had gotten for him. It wouldn't be huge, but surely Chris gave very thoughtful presents.

"Merry Christmas, D-Man," Chris said with a smile and handed Dustin a small gift box. "It's not much, but I wasn't aware we were getting presents, so..."

"I'm gonna love it, no matter what it is!"

Mark cracked an eye open. "Do I have to give you presents now?"

"Yeah, that's the paradigm of gift exchanges; you receive gifts and give them to everybody else."

"I know that." Mark rolled his eyes at Dustin. "I got you something. I just didn't know I had to give it now."

When Dustin looked up from his exchange with Mark, he found Eduardo and Chris hugging and exchanging expensive-looking boxes. His present from Chris looked kind of small compared to Eduardo's. Dustin was aware that he shouldn't be thinking that way, but it still made him sad. Eduardo would always be Chris' favourite, no matter what Dustin did.

Dustin set the small box aside and watched everybody else unwrap their presents.

Chris got a Prada shirt from Eduardo and a Gap hoodie from Mark. He didn't ask about Dustin's gift, which he still hadn't received.

Eduardo got a fancy dress shirt from Chris and a Gap hoodie from Mark. "Oh, that's... so sweet, Mark."

Dustin couldn't help but wonder if the hoodies were new or if Mark had just wrapped whatever he found in his closet. "You should wear it, Wardo," Chris said, grinning. "You need to show Mark just how much you appreciate this thoughtful gift."

"Then wear yours, too," Dustin muttered, sounding less than happy now; even Mark's eyebrows went up at Dustin's tone of voice.

"You need to open yours now." Mark handed Dustin a neatly wrapped, rectangular thing. It was hard, so it probably wasn't a hoodie.

Dustin ripped the paper apart and found... "Oh my God, Mark! I can't... wow, seriously, this is great, but I can't accept that."

Dustin was staring at a brand new Macbook and a book: 'Coding for Dummies'. He'd never realised that he was special to Mark in any way, but he hadn't received a hoodie, so this had to mean something.

"Why can't you accept it? Do you already have one I don't know about?"

"No, but... Mark, that's like two thousand dollars. I can't accept something that huge."

"The Prada shirt wasn't much cheaper. I was only going with the flow. And you needed a new one because the X key on your old one is stuck."

"Thank you, Mark." Dustin wrapped his arms around Mark's bony little body, hugging him close. "That's the best Christmas gift ever."

"Open mine! Mine's cool, too!" Eduardo smiled at him in that kicked puppy way of his and Dustin opened his, too. It was a stylish messenger bag for laptops with a big red D on the side.

"You coordinated this! You guys are so sweet..." Dustin felt a little bad about his slightly bitchy behaviour.

"Time for mine, I suppose," Mark said.

"No, wait. Dustin forgot mine." Chris looked around for the box and retrieved it from the coffee table. He looked a little nervous, which was definitely not a normal Chris-reaction.

Dustin took more care with this present, unwrapping it carefully. "You got me an iPod? Are you out of your mind? You could've gone home if you hadn't bought me that."

Chris smiled and shook his head. "I wanted to."

Dustin carefully lifted the iPod out of the plastic case and turned it around. It was a little heavy, but he was sure that Apple would get around this problem in years to come. Something caught his eye when he turned it. It was engraved. Not only had Chris bought him this wonder of technology, he'd also added a personal message:

For D-Man, my best friend.  
Lots of love  
Christopher Robin

That was when Dustin burst into tears.

"Do I get presents, too?" Mark asked after Dustin had calmed down a little bit. "Not that I want them, but I thought that's how this works."

"Of course you get them, silly. We got you something really great. All of us," Chris announced, grinning a little bit. "You might not like it, but we thought you should have it."

Dustin and Eduardo dragged a large box from Dustin's room, following Chris' commands until he had it right where he wanted it. Mark didn't look too impressed.

"Oh, so that new TV's for me? I thought it was Billy's."

Dustin's eyes widened. "So you... you... you go into our room when we aren't there and go through our stuff?" They had all met during Mark's computer class and taken a taxi to the city so they could buy and get the TV back as quickly as possible. They'd been so proud of themselves for pulling this off and now it seemed like it was all in vain.

"No. I didn't know it was a TV. But now I do." Mark grinned at Dustin who glared at Mark.

Dustin and Eduardo managed to set up the new TV, but it wasn't easy. There were a lot of cables with odd names they'd never heard of. Dustin and Eduardo decided to be 'manly' about it and trying without consulting the manual which Chris was waving at them every now and then, trying to get them to listen. Mark only watched in silence and Dustin had a feeling he knew exactly where each cable belonged.

In hindsight, it was quite possibly an omen. This was how they continued to work for a long, long time.


	5. Intermission

Dustin never gave Chris his Christmas present and Chris never asked about it.

A couple of weeks later, Mark launched Facebook and life started pulling them apart. They'd only known each other for a very short period of time, but their lives were forever intertwined, forever part of each other, if they wanted or not.

The pain in Eduardo's eyes haunted Dustin until he finally took a plane to Singapore and asked for forgiveness.

Chris left.

Dustin started Asana while Chris started and failed with Jumo.

Mark withdrew from the world.

Chris got married to the boy he'd met the year after Facebook.

Mark and Eduardo got married.

Dustin had a series of meaningless affairs and grieved in his own way.

 

And one day Dustin woke up and realised he was no longer nineteen years old. He was twenty eight and he knew it was time to face the facts: He was still in love with Chris, even ten years later. It was time to wake up and do something about it. Only then something happened, something that Dustin hadn't seen coming, and he knew he no longer had the time.


	6. What is and what should never be

"Can you go ahead without me, lovely? Or do I need to come? Oh, I'll just come along right away, baby."

Dustin almost gagged at the sight of Eduardo talking to Mark like Mark was the sort of person who actually enjoyed being called cute things. They were all standing in front of Chris' door, looking a little uncomfortable. It wasn't the sort of visit people typically enjoyed making and Dustin didn't see why he had to pretend that he cared. Well, he did care, but he wasn't sad about Chris' divorce.

"Can we just get it over with?" Mark snapped. "Chris knows what he does. He always does."

Considering the reason for the divorce, Dustin doubted that. The Christopher Robin Dustin had known back at Harvard wasn't the type of person who cheated on anyone; if he grew tired of a relationship he just broke up with the man in question. He didn't have secret relationships and was stupid enough to let the press catch him in the act.

"You're not taking Lucy from me!" a loud voice came from the other side of the door and Dustin winced. Yelling wasn't something Chris did either. Usually.

"She's my dog!" Sean yelled back. "I didn't leave her all alone when she was sick so I could fuck a guy twice my age!"

"I did not leave Lucy alone and he's not twice my age," Chris replied.

Mark, insensitive to the mood as he was, knocked on the door then. Chris opened and he didn't even look like Chris anymore. His lovely blond hair had been cut short and there were bruise-like shadows under his eyes.

"Oh, you guys."

Lucy came running, jumping up and down in front of Eduardo who happened to be her favourite. Eduardo bent down so he could stroke her without scaring her with his height and she seemed beyond happy that someone took the time to actually interact with her instead of yelling about her.

"You got your friends to come here so I'd look like the bad guy?" Sean snapped and Dustin wished he was anywhere but here.

Eduardo looked ready to burst into tears; arguments always reminded him of his unhappy childhood and the asshole who had donated the sperm to create him. Dustin refused to think of Mr. Saverin as Eduardo's father.

Dustin was torn. He should have been happy that Chris was getting divorced, but it also meant that there was another man in Chris' life and that he had chosen that stranger over Dustin, too. Maybe he could've eventually been okay with accepting that Chris has chosen the One over him, but random old men? No.  
To be entirely fair, the guy wasn't old. Alex just hadn't aged gracefully, but that was true for most stock brokers.

Forcing himself to focus on the situation at hand, Dustin put his hand on Chris' arm. "We're not here to make anyone look bad. We just want to offer Chris a place to stay in Palo Alto because clearly he can't be here. You guys need some time to cool off and-"

Sean slammed the door shut behind Chris. A couple of seconds later there was a whistle from the back door and Lucy vanished, too.

"Can we go then?" Mark asked and Dustin wondered if Mark ever actually thought before he opened his mouth to speak.

Chris looked sort of... broken. That wasn't a Chris-expression Dustin was familiar with and it hurt to see his best friend (and secret love of Dustin's life) like that. This wasn't the Chris who'd run Facebook's PR office from the suite in Kirkland and it wasn't the Chris who'd bought an ancient magazine and it wasn't the guy who'd given Dustin the iPod either.

Chris was staring at the front door like he expected Sean to open it, to let him back in, but that didn't happen.

"Let's go," Dustin said gently. "Let's go home."

Chris allowed him to lead him back to their car and Dustin wondered how it was possible that Chris' mere touch still sent sparks up and down his spine.

But Alex... what had happened to make Chris forget his principles and not only cheat on Sean, but also with Alex?

 

Dustin had a typical bachelor's cave man sort of house. There was little to no decoration (except for the life-sized T-Rex in the garden), but he had the most amazing flat screen that was much larger than Dustin himself. He had a feeling that Chris wouldn't really approve of the TV or the fact that there weren't any books in the house. Dustin had a Kindle and that was good enough for him, but Chris had always liked being able to touch the pages, Dustin remembered.

 

"Mark and I use the guest room as a Mario Kart room usually, but you can have it now," Dustin said, gently pulling Chris in the direction of the room.

Chris paused. "I didn't mean to hurt Sean," he said softly. "There was just... there was something I couldn't handle and I couldn't tell him about it. So... I called the first person I could think of - you. But you didn't pick up the phone and..."

Dustin leaned against the wall, wondering if any of this would have gone differently had he not been in a meeting and unable to take the call. "What happened?" he whispered.

"Sean really wanted a baby," Chris began, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You know how I feel about babies - especially about making new ones. It just doesn't make sense to bring another one into this world when there are so many there already. Sean can't have any of his own, so it had to be me. I finally... did what he wanted. I just didn't tell him. Call me crazy, but I didn't want him to know that his wish was going to come true. I found a lady willing to carry the child for us and she's still pregnant with it. I freaked out when I learned that it had actually worked. That sounds ridiculous, I know, but I never thought it would. I needed someone to lean on and Alex was there then."

Dustin didn't know what to say. That was a lot of information to take in and deal with at the same time. There was a baby Chris somewhere in the world and Chris was so upset about it that he slept with Alex and Sean didn't know the real reason and really...

"Who's the mother?" Dustin finally said, hoping it wasn't a random hooker or something.

"Randi."

Dustin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. "Randi Jayne Zuckerberg? Randi who happens to be a close friend of ours? Randi who is Mark's sister Randi? Are you out of your mind?" Dustin knew he wasn't being helpful, but this was so unlike Chris, so crazy that he really couldn't stop himself.

"I know! I wasn't thinking clearly. Sean was so upset. We never used to have arguments before he decided he wanted a baby. It felt like... like I didn't matter anymore. If I wasn't going to provide a baby for him, he wouldn't want me anymore. It's insane, I know. But I've never felt that way about anyone or anything. I was willing to give him what he needed, even if it meant burning some bridges behind me."

Dustin took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. "You need to tell him."

Chris shook his head. "It wouldn't change a thing. I'll just have to raise that kid myself. Randi doesn't want to keep it and I can understand it. Being pregnant at all was more of a favour for me than anything else."

"Oh Chris..." Dustin was beginning to understand what his best friend had been going through - all by himself. Having this sort of responsibility that Chris had never wanted and having to carry it without Sean... he could only try to imagine how hard it had to be. "I'll help you. We'll do this together."

"Thanks, D-Man."

Dustin pulled Chris into his arms, rocking him back and forth for a moment. Chris deserved to have one place in the world where he would feel protected and safe - and that would always be Dustin.


	7. Living Loving Maid (because Dustin is totally a Led Zep fan)

They didn't talk much about the divorce or the baby in the days that followed Chris' initial admission. Dustin thought it wise not to bring it up until Chris was comfortable with it, but he did end up running into Randi, who had left Facebook a couple of years ago, and she was showing. It was like being slapped in the face with the truth all over again and while Dustin was kind of sad that Randi was another person who had gotten a larger piece of Chris than himself, he was also starting to feel incredibly excited about it. Dustin had never actively wanted a baby, but he'd always been good with them and the possibility of having a mini-Chris to play with soon was... overwhelming.

Randi only needed one look at his face to know that he knew. They were in the middle of the mall, but Palo Alto was a village, and so she casually suggested to go and have a drink in one of the smaller bars.

"So, Chris is gonna be a dad," Dustin said, sitting down on one of the surprisingly comfortable red plush chairs. "Why did you ever agree to doing this? I never thought you'd be the maternal type."

Randi shrugged, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "He was so upset about it - he was scared of Sean leaving him. I mean, it's kind of understandable to want kids, but I've never met a man so obsessed with it. Sean was scary and he was definitely not the man Chris had married. You know Chris - he's a great judge of character and this must have been so upsetting. I couldn't not agree to it. He needed it and what kind of friend would I be if I turned him down?"

Dustin nodded slowly. It all made a lot of sense even if he couldn't really understand why Sean would risk everything, including Chris, for a baby. Of course it was a nice thought to eventually have a couple of rugrats, but it wasn't something he needed in order to be happy. At least that was what he thought then.

"I can kind of see where you're coming from, but still. I don't know if Chris is really the best person to deal with a baby. You know how he gets with his dress shirts and suits. What if the baby has to puke or something?"

Randi shrugged. "I only agreed to carrying the child for him. I never said anything about raising it."

"But it's still partly yours," Dustin reminded her gently, pausing when the waitress came over to take their orders. Once the young woman was gone, he turned back to Randi and he could kind of see why she had agreed to doing it. It wasn't a secret that she, too, had been in love with Chris. Dustin was a pro at recognising the signs, having gone through all the symptoms himself.

"I'm glad he has you to help him," Randi said, smiling. "I'm really glad."

 

***

 

Over the next couple of months Dustin started gathering baby clothes and toys although Randi refused to tell him the gender of the baby. Chris was listening and made a couple suggestions himself, but he seemed a little detached from the entire situation. Sean had sent the divorce papers a couple of weeks after Chris had moved to Palo Alto and Dustin knew he had signed them and sent them right back. That chapter of his life was over, but it didn't seem to make him happy or relieved or anything Dustin might have been had he been in the same situation.

One night, a couple of weeks before the baby was due, Chris suggested that he could find his own place in the neighbourhood. "Wardo said the house next to theirs is up for sale and I'm not going anywhere else any time soon, so..."

"That's nonsense! You're staying right here. You'll be busy with the baby and you definitely don't need to worry about buying houses and decorating them. And you would decorate if you had a house. You even bought a rug for me. A rug! Rugs fulfill no other purpose but being decorative and creating a sense of home and stuff. No, you're definitely not going anywhere. Have you even thought about a name for the baby yet?"

Chris shrugged a little awkwardly. "I was thinking of Etienne for a boy and Michelle for a girl."

"Why not just name it George or Barbara?" Dustin rolled his eyes. "Etienne's gonna get the poor boy (is that even a boy's name) regular beatings at school and Michelle is just silly. Everyone would think you named her after Michelle Obama."

"But I would be naming the child after Michelle Obama."

"That's lame. She should have her own name."

"Then what do you suggest?" Chris seemed a little amused by Dustin's objection, but not offended.

"Dean for a boy - because you can't make any weird nicknames for Dean. And Caitlin for a girl because Caitlin is a good Irish name and Hughes is a good Irish last name."

"It's Welsh actually, but I can see your point. I'll think about it."

 

***

 

Time flew by and before Dustin had really had a chance to think about the huge changes his own life was going to go through Randi went into labour. She didn't want either Chris or Dustin to be with her. They were waiting outside in the hallway, Dustin pacing and Chris looking like he was a rabbit in the snare. Three hours later, a nurse stepped through the door, carrying a small pink bundle in her arms.

"Your daughter, Mr. Hughes."

Chris reached up to take the little girl, his eyes wider than Dustin had ever seen them. He stared down at the baby's little face and suddenly he smiled. "Look at her, Dustin. She has the Zuckerberg curls."

Dustin stepped behind the chair Chris was sitting on, leaning over his shoulder. "And the Hughes eyes."

Until that moment he would've never thought that he could love anyone as much as he loved Chris, but when the little girl blinked, exposing the deep blue eyes under her long lashes, he knew that he had lost his heart and she could play ping pong with it for all he cared.

The nurse smiled at them. "Have you guys chosen a name yet?"

To Dustin's surprise, Chris didn't deny they were a couple, he simply gave the best possible answer: "We have agreed on Caitlin, haven't we?"

Dustin swallowed and nodded. "Yes, yes we have."

"Caitlin Brenda Hughes," Chris said, nodding firmly.

He seemed a lot more secure now, a lot more like the old Chris and Dustin was glad he was back. Even if Caitlin hadn't been the most adorable girl in the history of the world, he would have still loved her for bringing back his best friend. Dustin leaned over Chris' shoulder and kissed the baby's forehead. "Welcome to a great life, princess."


	8. Bring it on home (the Led Zep trend continues)

They were allowed to bring Caitlin home two days later. Dustin hadn't realised that things weren't going to be as simple as taking the baby home, putting her in her crib and taking her out when he wanted to play with her. Of course he had been aware of the fact that babies needed things like bottles and diapers, he just hadn't ever thought that things could be so messy.

It was four in the morning, the baby was crying and Dustin had absolutely no idea why that might be. He'd generously offered to take the first couple of nights so Chris could slowly get used to his new role as father, but now that he was actually doing it, he wasn't so sure anymore. Caitlin just kept wailing, no matter how many bottles he gave her (probably too many) and no matter how clean her diapers were. She just wasn't happy with anything he was doing and he was certain that his own growing anxiety wasn't helping the situation.

"Would you calm down for Uncle Dustin, sweetie? I'm sure you have your reasons for crying, but I kind of really hate seeing you cry. You're my precious little darling and when you cry I get sad. You don't want me to be sad, right?" Dustin carried her around the room and when that seemed to help a little, he walked out into the hallway and through the rest of the house. "Uncle Wardo said you have Auntie Mark's hair. Auntie Mark would get really upset if he knew we're calling him that, so you won't say anything, right?"

Chris opened the door to the guest room then, rubbing his eyes with his pajama sleeve. "Is she still up?"

"We're almost there," Dustin promised. "She's almost asleep."

But the little girl recognised Chris' voice and made those mewling sounds that always killed Dustin a little. "I think she wants you to take her."

Chris nodded and he looked sad and hopeful at the same time. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he whispered as he took the baby from Dustin. "Sean would've known how to handle this and... this wasn't what I set out to do."

It kind of hurt to hear that Chris still wanted Sean more than this easy relationship with Dustin. But he understood. Dustin was so used to analyzing and reacting to Chris' various moods that he didn't even have to focus on them anymore. It was just something that he did; recognising and automatically making excuses for them. It still hurt a lot in some moments, but he was better at pushing them into the background now.

"Sean would've been good at this, but we're better," he finally said. "We can do this, Chris. We handled Markwardo during the depositions, this is a joy compared to them."

Chris gave him a tentative smile. "Can you... you wanna sleep with us tonight?"

Dustin smiled as he wrapped his arms around both of them. "Of course I will."

And as they all curled up together, Dustin thought, no heknew, that they were going to be all right.

 

***

 

They settled into a sort of routine. Dustin went to work at Asana in the mornings and returned for lunch while Chris picked up his work at Facebook after lunch. Mark had been happy to take him back and while he didn't need the money, Chris needed something to do. Mark no longer needed a nanny with PR experience because he now had Eduardo and his PA to watch over him, but Chris' input for the site's new features were valuable and it gave him the sort of responsibility and means to bring change to the world that he obviously needed.

Dustin learned all about changing diapers, warming milk and the perfect tone of voice to get Caitlin to relax and fall asleep. He secretly thought that she preferred him over Chris most of the time, but at night she liked sleeping on Chris and got extremely upset when she couldn't. Dustin usually joined them and it was a peaceful time, one of healing old wounds and maybe forgetting his original goals of wooing Chris and making him his husband. They had a daughter to take care of, there was no point in making things any more complicated.

 

With Mrs. Hughes' help they actually managed to get Caitlin through her first six months without much of a problem. She was a bit of a fussy eater, but she started sleeping through the nights almost right away. Dustin wouldn't have minded if she had been twice as annoying. He loved the little girl as much as he would have loved his own. There was so much of Chris in her, but there was also some of Mark. It was surprising to discover this, but apparently the Zuckerberg-genes had skipped a generation when it came to Randi. Dustin had a feeling that the baby was sometimes watching and judging is performance and he made sure to redouble his efforts, no matter what he had been doing at the time.

Chris, on the other hand, was slowly getting used to his role as father and started making more of his own decisions. Dustin was no longer allowed to buy her rock band t-shirts until she was actually old enough to express an interest in rock music, but he tried to take it as a good sign. If Chris was getting worked up over her, it had to mean that he cared for her and that she was no longer a responsibility, but perhaps someone he actually loved enough to make sacrifices for.

"I think Sean knows about Caitlin," Chris said one afternoon as they were playing with Caitlin in the backyard.

"Of course he knows about her. We didn't keep her a secret, did we?" Dustin's profile picture was one of him sleeping with Caitlin resting against his chest. "Why?"

"I don't know. He messaged me on Facebook and why would he do that if there weren't any new facts on the table, anything new to discuss?" Chris shrugged, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. "He said he was coming out to Palo Alto over the weekend."

It was a sunny California afternoon, but suddenly Dustin felt cold. "You're divorced. He was pretty mean to you. And yeah, I know what you did, but still. If he really had tried to understand, he would've seen that you tried to be good to him and that you weren't just cheating on him for fun. I don't know how I feel about him just walking back into your life. And Caitlin's."

The baby was able to crawl by now and she was currently doing so, grabbing a handful of grass and pulling at it. She squealed in delight when she managed to rip it out and toss it into the air.

"He's her father," Chris said softly. "I mean... he was supposed to be."

Dustin knew that technically Chris was right, but it still felt like a train had hit him between the eyes. He had no right to the child really, but he'd always thought of her as his. "Okay."

A shadow crossed Chris' face and he reached across Caitlin to take Dustin's hand. "I'm sorry. You've been so great about everything and I say things like this to you. It's just... I can't quite forget Sean. He was supposed to do this with me, he was the sole reason I had Caitlin at all, and now he's not here anymore. I kind of want him to be."

Dustin swallowed and nodded. "I understand. No biggie, dude."

But of course it was and Dustin knew that he couldn't keep ignoring this like the box with Chris' Christmas present from a lifetime ago. He wanted to be with Chris in a way other than this and if he didn't open his mouth about it soon, it would be too late. He could already see Caitlin helping Chris charm his way back into Sean's life and once that happened both of them would be lost to him. But he just couldn't move. He just couldn't do anything out of fear of upsetting their fragile balance and risk losing everything.

That was why he agreed to letting Sean come to his place during the weekend.


	9. Ramble on (more Led Zep, predictably)

When Sean first met Caitlin, she cried. Dustin knew that he shouldn't be pleased, but when she held out her arms for him to pick her up, he did feel pride. She recognised him as a source of security and comfort and love. Not Sean. Not Sean who had stolen Chris from him and been mean to him for something Chris couldn't help. Dustin was sure that he'd forgive Chris if he cheated on him and while he was aware that it wasn't a very healthy way of thinking, he didn't mind.

 

Their first Christmas with Caitlin was the best one he'd ever had and the little girl gave him the best present he'd ever had. Mark was sitting with her under the tree, trying to show her how the laptop he'd gotten for her worked. Caitlin wasn't nearly as interested in the laptop as she was in Mark's ankles and it became a bit of a fight between uncle and niece, which ended with a pouting Mark and an angry baby.

Caitlin crawled over to Dustin's side of the couch and held her arms out to him. "Dada."

Everyone stopped talking, even Mrs. Hughes who was in the middle of her infamous 'you remember the time when Chris set the Christmas tree on fire, Ray?' story.

"Wh-what did you say?" Dustin stuttered, staring down at her.

"Dada." She wasn't even a year old, she couldn't possibly mean what she said, but when he looked down into her wide blue eyes, Dustin knew. He just knew.

He pulled her up into his arms and hugged her until she protested and went to play with Uncle Wardo who was quite possibly the best father out of the four of them.

 

That night, when everybody else was gone, Chris and Dustin were sitting together on the couch. They ate popcorn strings from the tree and sipped left over red wine to wash it down with.

"That was amazing," Chris said. "That she... she talked. And she said that to you."

"She probably doesn't know what it means," Dustin said. "By the way, do you remember our first Christmas at Harvard?"

"Of course. You were so happy about that iPod." Chris grinned at him. "And now you're anti-Apple."

"Not anti, just... less enthusiastic. I never gave you your present." Dustin's heart was hammering against his ribcage, loud and impossibly fast.

"Oh, you didn't? I thought you gave me that belt? Or was that Wardo? It was so long ago, I hardly remember."

Dustin knew it wasn't a big deal, but it still stung. If he still remembered, why didn't Chris? Was Dustin really so... unimportant that this would have slipped his mind?

"You could have it now," he whispered.

"If you want to give it to me, sure." Chris smiled, clearly a little confused.

They had taken an AePi course on Sindarin and Quenya together. Chris wasn't Jewish, but Dustin had introduced him as a distant cousin to smuggle him in. Back in 2003 'The Lord of the Rings' had reached its peak in popularity and the nerdy boys believed that knowing how to say 'my heart shall weep until it sees thee again' would get them laid.

Needless to say, it didn't get Dustin laid, but he had still learned how to write 'I love you' in runes, which had been rather handy when he had had a ring engraved with the words. That ring was in the box he had tried to forget about for the last ten years. It was this box that he handed to Chris.

Chris wouldn't remember. He'd mostly come along to support Dustin whose linguistic skills were basically non-existent. Still, his fingers trembled when he handed the box to Chris.

Chris opened it and from the expression in his eyes Dustin could tell that he remembered all right. He should have known. At first his eyes widened, but they soon clouded over and Dustin recognised the expression from the time when Eduardo had smashed the laptop.

Pity.

"Oh, Dustin." It sounded like he was grieving, like Dustin had announced his imminent death. "All this time?"

"Yes."

Tears were glittering in Chris' eyes. "I love you, Dustin, but Sean and I... want to give it another try. I can't... I just can't."

Dustin had known. Maybe not consciously, but part of him had always been aware that there was only one possible outcome and it wouldn't be positive. It couldn't be. He'd spent years working this problem over in his head and he was quite sure that there was no world in all the many worlds out there in which Chris loved him the way he loved Chris.

"You don't have to," Dustin replied eventually and it took more strength than he even knew he possessed to keep his voice from shaking. "I just wanted you to know that you have this option, Chris."

"Dustin, I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that I could. But I can't. I just can't. I love Sean." It sounded defiant and so sad Dustin wanted to hug him, but he knew that wouldn't be appreciated in this moment.

"It's fine."

 

But it wasn't fine. Chris decided to move back to New York and of course he was taking Caitlin. Dustin wasn't at home the day they left. He wanted Caitlin's last memory of him to be his good night kiss from the night before, not the tears he knew he was going to cry when she left his house in Sean's arms, no longer his daughter although she was.

 

Intermission

"Christopher Ray Hughes, you're a bastard." Mark sounded angry even from the other side of the country and he rarely did. "Not only did you hurt Dustin, you also took away the kid. He loves the kid."

"You're hardly a positive role model for good communication in relationships," Chris replied, shifting Caitlin from one hip to the other. She was not particularly happy and not even sleeping on his chest at night helped. She was up all the time and without Dustin to talk to her, she couldn't go to sleep.

"I apologised to Wardo and I've been doing my best ever since. I think I might have become a better person, but we're not talking about me here. We're talking about you. What you did was wrong and he's suffering."

Chris was silent for a moment, willing himself not to cry. Dustin... was in love with him. Dustin who had accepted him into his home, who had raised his daughter for him, who had gotten him a ring when they were still in college. He wondered how his life might had he never met Sean. But still, Dustin had never said anything while he still had the chance and now it was too late.

"It's my life and I know what I'm doing." It sounded childish, but he didn't know how else to defend himself when his heart was breaking in two.


	10. Must have been love

The first month was the hardest. Dustin kept waking up thinking that he'd heard Caitlin cry, which was idiotic, of course, because no baby had lungs big enough to scream from New York to California. It was just a dream and Dustin thought that maybe he'd hit the bottom of sadness when he was missing the crying of a baby that wasn't even his and would forget him soon.

He kept going to work, but the Asana staff knew better than to ask what was wrong with him. Dustin wasn't hostile, he was just a dark, rainy cloud that no one wanted to be near. It was Evelyn, his assistant, who slowly pulled him back to life. She gave him meals that weren't going to give him heart attacks in the future and replaced his Red Bull with water and herbal tea. She also tried to keep all news of Chris from him and while Dustin found ways around her news blockade, he was still happy that she was doing this for him at all. It had been a long time since anyone had cared for him in such a way.

One night they had sex on Dustin's desk.

Evelyn was very different from Chris. She was his opposite perhaps. She had long, brown curls and dark eyes that glittered in the faint light of his desk lamp. She was soft and her body felt great under his. He was lucky to have such a woman and he vowed to block out all memories of Chris and try to make this work.

"I can't make any promises," he whispered against her thigh, which he was resting against afterwards.

"I know." She stroked his hair and he drifted off to sleep and for the first time in forever he wasn't woken by babies, imaginary or real.

 

Mark and Eduardo called him daily, but Dustin was slowly starting to rebuild his life. He went out with Evelyn almost every night, had fun with her, slept with her, got used to her presence replacing that of Chris. Things were different with her, maybe because she was a girl or maybe because there was no emotional baggage between them, but it wasn't bad. Evelyn took over his house, making it look more like a home while letting him keep all of his favourite Star Wars things. They even had light sabre fights and once Dustin wore a metal bikini for her.

"That's... it should be disturbing and disgusting, but I actually find it rather hot," Evelyn said. "Does this make me Jabba?"

"You could be Han," Dustin offered generously.

"Great. I look like a young Harrison Ford."

"Would you rather be Jabba? I'd have to feed you better, maybe give you a baby, but..." He trailed off. Memories of Caitlin flooded his mind and he let the light sabre sink.

"We could have a baby if you want one," Evelyn suggested. "I don't really care either way. If you do, cool. If not, then we'll have to go to New York and see Caitlin. It's been almost a year, Dustin. Stop pouting."

"It has *not* been a year," Dustin replied.

A year. Caitlin would probably be talking in complete sentences at this point and she had forgotten about him. She'd call Sean 'dada' now. Or maybe she had already moved on to 'daddy'. His stomach did a weird flip at that and he dropped onto the couch. Normally he would've felt ridiculous crying in a metal bikini, but right now he didn't really care.

"I miss her," he whimpered. "She's... she was mine. I don't want another baby. I just want Caitlin."

"Then we're going to see Caitlin," Evelyn replied patiently, sitting next to Dustin and rubbing his arm. "You're gonna be fine, Dustin."

"But he's there, too. And I don't want to see him. I... I can't, you know? Not after everything that happened. I just... I can't."

"Dustin, you can and you will. Now be a good boy and book a flight, will you?"

It was that sentence, more than anything else, that told Dustin that things between him and Evelyn were over. She was sending him away, to the one he loved more than her. They'd always known it was true and that their time together was limited. It had flown by, that time, and now that the year was over and Dustin hadn't progressed at all, she was sending him away. Another person had given up on him and he knew it was his fault.

"All right," he whispered. "I will."

Evelyn's eyes were glittering, but it was not the glow of sexual bliss and it was not happiness or anger. She was crying in a manly way; inside her heart, but not with her eyes.

 

***

 

Dustin was standing in front of the driveway up to the Garrison house. He'd been there a couple of times before, but he'd never liked it here. Dustin wasn't a small town boy. He'd always wanted to live in a big city and while Palo Alto wasn't huge, it was way better than this. Shouldering his bag, he walked up to the house, dust swirling around his ankles. New York could get hot in the summer.

Caitlin was in the garden with Lucy, squealing as she chased the dog around trees and plants that looked decorative, but useless. She stopped when she saw Dustin. Dustin dropped his bag when he saw her.

"DADA!"

And suddenly she was clinging to his leg and Dustin was crying and it was still the most perfect moment he'd ever had.


	11. Be good to yourself

"Caity, where are you?" Sean walked around the corner, stopping when he saw Dustin and the little girl.

Caitlin turned around to wave at Sean, but turned back to hug Dustin. "Dada. Back!" She clapped her hands and giggled happily. She looked more like Chris than Mark now, Dustin thought, but she had the most adorable angel curls and her eyes. She could play ping pong with his heart and soccer with his brain, he didn't care.

"Yeah, I'm back, baby. How're you doing? How's your... other dada?"

"Cwis," she replied and Dustin was a little surprised, but decided not to judge.

"Let's see if we can find him," Dustin answered and walked towards Sean. "Hey."

"We didn't expect you or we would've picked you up from the airport," Sean replied and Dustin hated the sound of 'we'. We sounded like forever.

"Oh no, that's okay. It was just a little cab ride. No biggie."

"Sean, who's that in the-" Chris' hair was longer now, Dustin noticed. It touched his collar and covered his eyes and God, he wanted to bury his fingers in it and pull Chris closer so he could cover Chris' mouth with his and then throw him on the next best bed and never stop fucking him for as long as they both lived. One year was really too long to be away from Chris. He'd lost the immunity to his charm.

"Dustin..."

And suddenly Chris was in his arms, too, and it felt like all the nights they'd spent together cuddling and trying to sleep. Chris' grip on him was almost painful and while Dustin appreciated it, it was also a little scary. Had Chris really, truly missed him or was this something else? It kind of did feel like something else. Something had changed between them and Dustin wasn't sure what it was yet.

 

***

 

In the evening they went on a walk around the neighbourhood. There were mostly trees and meadows (yes, actual meadows with daisies and lots of other flowers Dustin had no name for). Lucy was walking ahead of them, her nose close to the ground, and this felt so much like what Dustin had always wanted with Chris that he made a decision then and there. Perhaps it wasn't the best time or the best place, but when they crossed one of the meadows, Dustin pushed Chris hard enough that the landed in the grass, a couple of flower petals rising into the air from his impact.

Chris looked up at Dustin, eyes wide. "D-Man?"

"Stop calling me that." Dustin knelt between Chris' knees, leaning over him. "If you really don't want this, then look me in the eyes and say so. Because otherwise I'll do it. And I won't stop."

For a moment Chris looked torn, but then he nodded. Dustin had a scary thought: Maybe he wouldn't have stopped, no matter what Chris' reply was.

He leaned closer and their lips met. It was a simple touch of skin against skin, but it sent sparks through all his nerves and never had biology made more sense to Dustin than in this moment. He deepened the kiss, his tongue finding Chris' easily. His senses seemed to be heightened somehow because every single touch felt like more than it really was. Chris' cool fingertips against the back of his neck made him shudder and harden in his pants and when Chris' hand found its way between their bodies to palm him, he knew he wouldn't last long enough to do anything meaningful.

"I love you, Chris."

Chris' eyes clouded over again in that way that made Dustin feel like he would never be happy again. "I wish I could tell you the same. Oh, Dustin, I just..."

Dustin pulled back, shaking his head. "Nothing has changed. For a moment there I thought that you might have... whatever, right? This was a mistake."

"No!" Chris sat up, his eyes blazing and for a moment Dustin was almost scared of him. "I'm not letting you leave me again for a year. Dustin, you're my best friend and I can't let you leave me again. I won't-"

"Your best friend. And you were kissing me because I was your best friend. You were willing to fucking sleep with me because I'm your best fucking friend?" Dustin didn't care if he disturbed Garrison's peace. He didn't care if Sean heard them or even Caitlin. He had enough of being pushed around and manipulated by Chris' Hughes and his fucking charm. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't even know what to say to this! It's like you're trying to make me part of your long list of conquests and that's just the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. I lost a good woman because of you. Maybe she might have actually made me happy. She certainly never made me feel like she was using me."

"Dustin, I'm sorry. I-"

"Don't say that to me. You know... don't ever talk to me again because I'm so sick of the Chris Hughes Show. Written, directed, produced and acted out by Christopher The Slut Hughes. That's what Harvard's gay community called you, by the way. And you know what? They were right. I don't even know why I was defending you anymore. Or why I ever wanted to be your friend. Everyone says you're the mature one, the one doing good things, but you know what? It's all a lie. You're no better than Mark, Chris. You're worse. You're a lot worse."

"I love you," Chris whispered. "It's not my fault that I can't love you the way you want me to."

"Fuck you."

With that Dustin turned around and walked away and it didn't feel hard to do this. It was the easiest thing he'd ever done.

 

Dustin had originally wanted to just leave Garrison and never come back. Something inside of him, the part that had reacted so strongly to being called 'dada', had other plans, though. He met Sean and Caitlin on a swing behind the house. Sean was trying to feed her oatmeal and strawberries, but Caitlin kept smearing the food on the swing and Sean. She looked grumpy and tired and it was way too late to feed a baby, Dustin thought.

"Dada," she said miserably when Dustin approached.

He took her from Sean's arms and rocked her gently. "It's okay, sweet pea. You don't need to eat right now."

Sean watched them in silence, but Dustin could tell he was sad. They were all sad, he thought, and no one could really win in this situation because it was too complicated to fix.

He sensed Chris behind him, like he always did, and turned around.

"I think you should leave," Chris said softly and took the baby from him.

"Don't want you!" Caitlin tried to wriggle out of Chris' grasp. "Want dada!"

She hadn't been able to express herself with so many words the last time he'd seen her, but she remembered the many nights he'd carried her through his house, had rocked her to sleep to the sound of Deep Purple and Metallica. Dustin's heart suddenly felt too tight to keep all his emotions inside and he turned away.

She kept wailing as he walked down the driveway, but he knew she would be all right. She would forget him eventually and if he was extremely lucky he'd forget the way her curls felt under his fingers and how she made him feel like the most important person in the world and when that happened, he'd also forget Chris.

 

***

 

Perhaps Dustin had needed this, had needed to see how Chris really felt about him. He felt better now. Work was going fine and the Asana employees stopped shunning him. They all went back to the easy friendship they'd shared before Dustin had become a rain cloud.  
He went out with his employees and sometimes with old colleagues from Facebook. It wasn't the happiest time of his life, but it came pretty close. Everything was so much easier now and he could sleep at night, which was also comforting. He met Billy Olson, who had his own start-up now, for gym visits and Dustin was quite content with the progress they made. Billy and him would never be stunning men like Eduardo or Sean, but they weren't exactly ugly either. They attracted their fair share of nerd-hunters (that was the unofficial term for girls who only came to Palo Alto to date someone rich or famous), and there was sex. It wasn't about emotions or healing or anything of that sort - it was just lust and Dustin was all right with that.

Maybe he would have continued his bachelor's life for all eternity if he hadn't received a call from Chris a couple of months after the Garrison incident.

He didn't take it at first. He saw 'Sharkie' flash on the screen and that brought with it an avalanche of feelings he really didn't want or need. It had been easy to ignore Chris' existence when they weren't talking to each other, but a phone call was like a knife twisting in his stomach, ripping open old wounds.

He switched off his phone and tried to forget the call.

It was a slow day at Asana; Dustin had already done most of the work for today. As CEO he had certain duties, like talking to potential investors (he actually got to choose who he wanted to be involved; with his financial background he didn't need to accept just anyone) or overseeing the trainees they'd started taking on once the project garnered more interest.

His new assistant, a perky blonde from Kentucky named Chelsea, called around 3 PM to let him know that he could go home if he wanted to.

"You have dinner with the Zuckerbergs tonight," she reminded him. "I bought you a bottle of wine to bring. You owe me 300, boss-man."

"I owe you nothing. I know that you used my credit card," Dustin chuckled. "And I'm sure you tipped yourself generously."

"Yeah... speaking of which, thanks for the new cowgirl boots!"

"Go home, silly girl."

Chelsea did leave, presumably to have amazing sex with her underwear model boyfriend, Stevefrey, which was an even more stupid name than Prince Armand III. Dustin wasn't sure why some people thought their kids were special little snowflakes who needed special little names that made no sense whatsoever. Caitlin was a good Irish name, not too fancy, but not too boring either.

Caitlin...

He called Chris back then.

"Oh, hey." He could tell from Chris' tone of voice that something was up.

"What happened?"

"It's Caity, she's..."

"What?" Panic was overruling all other emotions Dustin might have had in that moment.

"She's missing you. She always asks about 'dada' and, as you'll remember, she doesn't want me. She doesn't want Sean either. She just wants you. We... think it might be for the best. We weren't meant to be parents."

Dustin snorted. "You can't just have a child and then decide you no longer want her and that you weren't meant to be parents. There are lots of people who feel inadequate for the job, but they do it anyway because it's... it's your kid, Chris."

Chris was breathing through his nose, Dustin could tell. That meant he was nervous. He could still read Chris better than he was aware of and it hurt. It was a sharp pain now, not the dull thing he had gotten used to. It scared him that one person could wield such power over him without even knowing it.

"I love her. I don't want to see her go, but I know that's what's best for her. Sometimes, if you really love someone, you must let them go to make them happy."

Dustin squeezed his eyes shut against Chris' words that cut down to his essence like a knife. "I know what you mean."

"I miss you, D-Man."

"I know." He paused. "I missed you, too. I'll take her if that is really what is best for her."

"Would you... take me, too?"

Dustin bit down on his knuckles for a moment, focusing on the physical pain to block out the rest. "Oh, Chris... we've been over this."

"I love you. My friendship with you was the only thing that's ever really worked out for me. And I could learn to love you the way you love me if you give me time."

"What about Sean?"

"Sean... I love Sean. But with Caity in the picture... it can't work out. She doesn't want him and perhaps... perhaps she knows something that I can't feel just yet. Whatever it is, I want you back, Dustin."

"What about the things I said?"

"Perhaps you were right. I was selfish. That's no reason to call me a slut and we will have a conversation about the usage of such words in the future, but right now I just want to come home."

That did the trick. "When can you be here?"

"I'm standing in the hallway, actually." Dustin looked up and Chris waved at him, Caitlin on his hip.

"How did you know I was going to say yes?"

"I'm your best friend."

And then Dustin held open his arms for his family.


	12. In the end

Things weren't easy. Dustin had always thought that once Chris was his boyfriend, his life would magically transform and change completely. The truth was that Dustin was still the same person he'd always been and his life didn't change drastically. Things were mostly the way they had been before Chris had left for Garrison; they'd take turns with Caitlin and while Dustin was special to her, she grudgingly agreed to calling Chris something other than 'Cwis'. She finally settled on 'maman' and no matter how many times they tried to explain it to her, she wouldn't budge.

Some time after Caitlin's second birthday Chris started wearing the ring Dustin had given him. He never talked about it, but one night during dinner he noticed that it was there and somehow that made his heart ache in all the right ways.

 

Like other families, they had arguments. Chris thought that Dustin was spoiling the child and Dustin thought Chris had no heart. Chris would try to talk, Dustin would pout, but they always ended up sleeping in the same bed at night. Eventually they ended up sleeping together, too. It wasn't earth-shattering, life-changing sex at first, but it was good and as they learned each other's bodies, they grew closer, too.

There was some bitterness on certain days, like Sean's birthday, which Chris insisted on celebrating with him. Or Christmas, when Chris would get sad because Dustin hadn't given him the ring before all the other things had happened. But it was a good life. They had a family, they had a future and as long as all three of them were together, they'd always find a way to overcome all obstacles.

One night when they were sitting together on a branch of the old apple tree in Dustin's backyard, Chris turned to him, his expression serious.

"Will you marry me?"

And there was only one possible answer for Dustin to give, of course.

 

When Caitlin was four years old, Dustin and Chris got married. It was a quiet ceremony and Dustin was all right with that. He'd never meant for the rest of the world to know how much he loved Chris. Now Chris knew and now he had Chris and that was good enough for him.

"That took us a long time," he remarked in the evening when they were lying on a blanket at a Hawaii beach (Dustin had insisted on the traditional honeymoon) and holding hands, matching rings rubbing against each other.

"It was worth it, though. I think that when things come to you easily and without struggle, you don't handle them with care. You let the bad things come between you and what really matters. That won't ever happen with us."

Dustin looked over at Chris whose face was lit by the setting sun and he knew with absolute certainty that he was right.

 

The End


End file.
